What My 11-Year-Old Just Taught Me About Corporate Speak

Marion Heil
vor 6 Tagen
3 Min. Lesezeit

Last night I was checking our son's maths homework. The teacher's note said he should draw the lines "at least 6-7 centimetres long." Before I could finish reading, he erupted: "SIX SEVEN!" - dancing around, hands going up and down in that cheeky weighing motion. That look of pure joy. I stared at him. He grinned back. What now?

"Das crazy" was Germany's youth word of the year. Just last week Austria has crowned viral Gen Z and Gen Alpha term "6 7" (pronounced "six seven") as its own with 50% of votes.

"6 7"

Our son doesn't just say it. He shouts it. Sings it. Whenever the numbers 6 or 7 come up in normal conversation. His entire class does. Math lessons have become impossible. Teachers are losing their minds.

"Turn to page 67..." "SIX SEVEN!" (Entire classroom erupts)

"We'll meet at 6 or 7..." "SIX SEVEN!"

"You got 6 out of 7 correct..." "SIX SEVEN!"

What does it mean? Absolutely nothing.

It's a signal that you're an insider. You get the joke - even though there isn't one.

It's a signal that you're an insider. You get the joke - even though there isn't one.

I sometimes feel this is also how we often talk in business speak. And honestly, I have to laugh at myself first. As a consultant, I'm guilty of peak consultant speak. I'll tell a client "Let's align on the framework and do a deep dive on the impact" without blinking. I switch languages mid-sentence. I use three English words when one German one would do. My German-speaking friends mock me gently. Our son just rolls his eyes.

Corporate Speak is Just Adult "6 7"

"Strategic synergies." "Think outside the box." "This needs C-level buy-in." "Let's take this offline to deep-dive the low-hanging fruits."

Sounds impressive. But does it really say much? Yet it signals: I'm part of the club. Checkst du?

Our kids admit it makes no sense. We act like it's profound.

The Elegant Ragequit

When the "modern, agile culture" turns out to be "same old, just with more buzzwords"? The CEO candidate who ragequits after three months?

We call it "pursuing other opportunities" or "mutual agreement on strategic direction." But yeah - totally ragequit-worthy.

And the candidate who's highly qualified but lowkey tuff to place because he just isn't chillaxed? For us, he "checks all the boxes on paper but presents stakeholder concerns around soft factors".

Viral Trends, Corporate Edition

"6 7" went viral because basketball player LaMelo Ball is 6'7" tall and a rapper made a catchy song. Nobody really understands it. Everyone says it anyway.

Replace "6 7" with "think outside the box" or "let's put a pin in that and circle back." Similar pattern. We nod knowingly because the trend demands it.

The Point

Maybe clearer communication beats impressive-sounding nothing. What do we actually mean when we use these phrases? What are we really trying to say?

Then again, our son will find "6 7" embarrassing soon. There'll be new slang I won't understand. That's how language works.

But our tendency to sound important while saying little is here to stay – and I will need to work hard on using less consulting jargon.

So if you ask how relevant this article is for your next board placement, I'll be honest: pretty mid. And I apologize for that. But sometimes - especially heading into the weekend - we all need to pause and laugh at ourselves a bit.

Lowkey tuff though, right?

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Marion Heil is founder and managing director of Board+CEO Advisors and learns more from her 11-year old than she'd like to admit. She is based in Vienna.

P.S. If you are wondering about some of the youth slang - welcome to how your kids feel about "strategic synergies." ;-)